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Football

Sports Authority is out in Denver

More news on the Denver Broncos (if you don’t like the Broncos, then get out the SSS kitchen – our biases will not stop):

Last week was the first of training camp for the Denver Broncos, and it was also the first week that their sponsor, Sports Authority, hasn’t been on the backdrop of the pressroom podium. Why, you ask? Well, if you haven’t noticed the huge

“GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. WE ARE SO BROKE, TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT. FO FREE”

signs hanging out front of every Sports Authority store, then you’re either living under a rock, you’re severely unathletic so you just blur those kind of stores out entirely (America!), or you live in the half of the US that opted out of Sports Authority ownership.

Anyways, what we’re trying to say is that Sports Authority basically made like The Titanic and tanked, declaring bankruptcy back in March, and now they’re facing legal problems with the Mile High team. $36 million dollars was owed to the franchise. We’d be passive aggressively pissed too.

Bummer for SA and bummer for the Broncos, who are in need of a new sponsor. Upkeep of the stadium and future renovations will cost them upwards of a casual $300 million dollars in the next 30 years. Pocket change, really.

Denver isn’t exactly desperate for a new sponsor, considering liquidator Hilco Streambank has agreed to take over the last 5 years of the original SA/DB agreement. But we don’t want that beautiful stadium deemed “HIlco Streambank Stadium at Mile High.” We can’t even say it without slurring (and no we aren’t drunk yet – it’s 11 am, who do you think we are). Zero ring to it. Do not pass go, do not collect $300 mill.

Any offers? Personally, She Speaks Sports Stadium has our vote. We’ll cough up the dough for that.

Vince Wilfork is gracing the pages of ESPN’s Body Issue

Ladies, if you’ve never picked up an ESPN Magazine before, then here’s your chance. The Body Issue releases this month, and well, it’s the only sports mag that you’ll ever need to peruse (men, it will have you foaming at the mouth just like the SI swimsuit edition).

This release showcases athletes baring it all for the sake of… well, showing off. It has highlighted nude and semi-nude photographs of stars like Dwight Howard, Serena Williams, Hope Solo, and Rob Gronkowski, just to name a select few. This year’s edition offers something a little bit different than your normal (if you consider fit AF, professional athletic bodies with 48 pack abs normal) toned bods, thanks to the mighty Vince Wilfork.

Vince who? Mr. Vince Wilfork. The 325 lb (of pure lusciousness) Pro Bowl nose tackle for the Houston Texans.

Why We Care

Because he’s 325 lbs and naked in a national publication, duh.

And he’s awesome. He has the confidence to showcase his teddy bear body to the world, and in turn, empower both men and women to love themselves just the way they are. Aaaand, cue “don’t look at me…” preach, Christina!

In fact, he has some choice words for all you judgy mcjudgersons out there…

“I don’t care what people think. It all starts with yourself. I believe in myself. I love myself. So it’s kind of like, they can shove it up their you-know-whats.”

Yaaaas boy, yaaaas.

He also has a heart of gold, giving most of his time to his foundation, raising awareness and money for diabetes and its victims (don’t be stingy. Donate HERE).

Pick up the issue, out July 6. Mark your calendar. Admire the bods. Love yourself some Vince Wilfork.

Johnny Manziel’s in Cabo

Heeeeeeeere’s Johnny!

In Cabo.

And we sincerely doubt it’s for rehab.

We bet he’s drinking water. Hope it’s not from the tap.

In his latest Instagram post, Johnny’s rocking a Josh Gordon jersey that, in his caption, he claims he’s not taking off all week. That’s good. So he won’t be clean internally OR externally.

Why we care

Last week, Johnny’s dad publicly referred to his son as a “druggie who needs professional help,” and implied his death is impending if he doesn’t. Today, Johnny assured TMZ that his road to sobriety will begin Friday – AFTER this one last bender in Mexico. Just one more time! After this, he’s done. I’ll be a good boy daddy I swear!

We’ve heard that before.

In his caption, Manziel mocked his father’s statements with a #hidad, and claimed some epic comeback is on the way for himself and his brother, perpetually-suspended Browns receiver Josh Gordon.

Dude, let’s start coming back from Mexico before you spout some bs about making it back to the league. In case you don’t recall, no. one. wants. you. They didn’t want you before the domestic violence dispute and the house you trashed in LA. You think they want you now?

Boy bye.