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August 2016

Sports Authority is out in Denver

More news on the Denver Broncos (if you don’t like the Broncos, then get out the SSS kitchen – our biases will not stop):

Last week was the first of training camp for the Denver Broncos, and it was also the first week that their sponsor, Sports Authority, hasn’t been on the backdrop of the pressroom podium. Why, you ask? Well, if you haven’t noticed the huge

“GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. WE ARE SO BROKE, TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT. FO FREE”

signs hanging out front of every Sports Authority store, then you’re either living under a rock, you’re severely unathletic so you just blur those kind of stores out entirely (America!), or you live in the half of the US that opted out of Sports Authority ownership.

Anyways, what we’re trying to say is that Sports Authority basically made like The Titanic and tanked, declaring bankruptcy back in March, and now they’re facing legal problems with the Mile High team. $36 million dollars was owed to the franchise. We’d be passive aggressively pissed too.

Bummer for SA and bummer for the Broncos, who are in need of a new sponsor. Upkeep of the stadium and future renovations will cost them upwards of a casual $300 million dollars in the next 30 years. Pocket change, really.

Denver isn’t exactly desperate for a new sponsor, considering liquidator Hilco Streambank has agreed to take over the last 5 years of the original SA/DB agreement. But we don’t want that beautiful stadium deemed “HIlco Streambank Stadium at Mile High.” We can’t even say it without slurring (and no we aren’t drunk yet – it’s 11 am, who do you think we are). Zero ring to it. Do not pass go, do not collect $300 mill.

Any offers? Personally, She Speaks Sports Stadium has our vote. We’ll cough up the dough for that.