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July 2016

Kevin Durant what have you done

So in case you’re living under a rock, we’ll fill you in on the latest reason the NBA just got a little more boring.

Kevin Durant, previous small forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder and current big fat traitor, just inked a 2-year, 54.3 million dollar deal with the team that he most recently lost to. Hint: KD just hired a new cook and his name’s Chef Curry.

Now, this could play out one of two ways.

  1. We all know it as: The Law of Diminishing Returns. Typically the best team on paper can’t pull off the only W that matters, at least at first (see: 2011 Heat, 2015 Cavs, etc). Can the Warriors come together to be greater than, or even equal to, the sum of its parts? Unlikely.
  2. KD goes HAM. Steph goes HAM. Clay goes HAM. Draymond goes HAM, pulls a Mike Tyson and bites someone’s ear off. They don’t need a big man bc who needs boards when you got threes for days? Champs.

Call us cynics, but we’re leaning towards the former. If for no other reason than the fact that we do NOT want another year of Warriors regular season domination. Snooze. Fest. What’s the point of the West anymore if GS has such a staggering monopoly?

WHY WE CARE

So six years ago when Lebron bailed out of the Mistake by the Lake and beasted it to South Beach, Durantula had a few choice words for the current MVP…

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Listen. We understand the NBA, like the NFL and MLB and pro sports alike, is a business. KD wants to win. His plan is to win. We get it. The issue we have with this whole thing is that KD HAD a good team. A legitimate contender. And he just bailed to go kick it with the team who shut down that dream this year?

If the rumors about his tension with Russ West are real talk, then that’s one thing. But if it’s just hearsay to justify his decision to bounce, then ew.

It feels weak. It’s a weak man’s action. Dude. Bro. Stay and fight, with your team, and keep the West competitive. Like you said you wanted? Yes, people are allowed to change their minds, but broooo… you’re a competitor. And this is a cop out.

Coastal Carolina’s Rooster Crowed… Finally

While many of you were working your oh-so-fun, “I never want to leave, I’d rather be working” jobs yesterday, the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers (pronounced SHONT-ti-clear. So posh. Except not, because it’s a rooster) beat out The University of Arizona Wildcats in the NCAA Men’s College World Series. After being postponed the previous night due to lightning, the game was played yesterday morning; which allowed for extra rest and some killer pitching by both teams. It was a quick 9 innings and the Roosters won 4-3.

WHY WE CARE

Because it’s the College World Series, AKA the mecca of college baseball.

AND because it’s the first title in Coastal Carolina’s history. Like, their first title in ANY sport. Which is well-deserved considering the Chants beat out megastars like LSU (killer everything, especially baseball), TCU (always good, when their athletes are eligible…) and Florida (no parenthetical explanation necessary. Tim Tebow blessed this school) in the regular season.

Did we mention that it was also the first championship in a team sport for The Big South Conference? Way. To. Go.

UofA played exceptionally well throughout the series, and with eight championship appearances already, a ninth doesn’t seem hopeless. Except this year. All hope is lost. Pack up and ship out, boys.

Better luck next year, Cats.

(We went to ASU though, so do we really mean that? uhhhhhhhhno)